


Rhys' (Short) List of Fuck-ups

by orphan_account



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Bromance, Embarrassment, M/M, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 10:00:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18341402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It takes less than a week for Rhys to screw up at his new job. Let's look back on that.





	Rhys' (Short) List of Fuck-ups

**Author's Note:**

> this is my very first fic and is unbetad (weird word lmao) so im sorry for any inconsistencies. also i wrote this on my phone so if its weirdly formatted, thats why,, ive only written as much as seen here, but if people enjoy it i'd be happy to update with an explicit chapter ; ) any thoughts/comments are highly appreciated!

Rhys wasn't sure how he ended up in this situation.

Correction- he knew exactly how he ended up in this situation. Rhys just couldn't believe that it was happening. 

Still, he couldn't help but question himself. Was it bad luck? _Yes._ Was it him just being a complete dumbass? _Yes._ Was it a higher power trying to punish him merely for existing? _Most likely._

These were all valid questions that came into thought when he was suddenly thrust against the wall with his boss, his idol, the man he's looked up to his entire life, Handsome Jack -- THE Handsome Jack, with his hands around his throat accompanied with a contorted grin.

With what Rhys assumed would be his last moments, he decided to think back at the instances when his life turned into an absolute fuck up in only less than a week.

\-- 

It was the beginning of a new day at Helios. In fact, it was the first beginning for Rhys. After finally being accepted into his dream job along with his best friend Vaughn, he could not be more ecstatic to step foot into the massive corporation.

The two were spent, to say the least. The night before, the pair of best buds went out for one too many drinks and had a mini-celabration at their shared apartment. For some reason, they agreed to wake up early for a victory breakfast at one of the nicest (AKA one of the most expensive) breakfast joints in the area. It took barely a minute of looking at the menu before they decided that _wow, we're too broke for this, let's go to a McHyperion instead_. 

"Dude, I cannot _believe_ you convinced me to get breakfast with you this morning," Rhys said with half a grin and half a grimace from the incoming pain of a massive headache. It was way too early to be up at this hour and the fact that a hangover was starting to build did not help. He rubbed at his temples, the soothing chill from his robotic arm helping him ease.

"Bro? Seriously? You promised me last night that we could have victory breakfast sandwiches!" Vaughn makes a face, mostly a pout, trying to make Rhys feel guilty. The pout was met with a light punch on the shoulder in reply and the two huffed laughter at eachother.

As they pulled into the drive-thru of the closest McHyperion, Rhys noticed a motivational poster as he gazed out of the passenger window. The poster depicted Handsome Jack, the president of Hyperion, with his arm crossed and a stern look.

The bold text read "THE HERO PANDORA NEEDS, DESERVES" with smaller text that read "JACK'S GOT YOUR BACK" and, of course, the Hyperion logo in the corner. Rhys lingered on the poster, his eyes flicking towards Jack's, his perfectly shaped hair, the slightest hint of a smirk on the corner of his lips...he stared at his lips the longest. He would be lying if he said he's never thought about Handsome Jack in a way- in _that_ way before. Because honestly, who hasn't, right? Rhys must have gotten too distracted because he was met with a snapping from Vaughn, drawing him out of his shortly lived thoughts. 

"Hello?" Vaughn called out with concern. "Earth to Rhys? I asked what you wanted to eat, bro." 

Rhys felt the mild crawl of a blush and brushed it off with a laugh before answering "Sorry, sorry- I'll just have a coffee or whatever caffine they have. Do you think they have headache relief?" He asks with slight seriousness as he winces, the pain from his headache growing stronger. Vaughn giggles before rolling his eyes and tells the automated machine their order.

As they drove off with their 'breakfast', Rhys glanced at the poster one more time, the feeling of excitment churning his stomach in the best way possible. 

\--

It was halfway through the first day before Rhys understood the vibe coming from the other workers. A good amount of people were happy there were new recruits, some even stopping to wave at him. Well, they didn't exactly wave, they pretended to shoot him with their...finger guns? He wondered where something so childlike came from, but gave them the pleasure of finger gunning back at them. 

The rest of the people were...really not excited to be at there. A lot of people seemed to be bored. A different lot of people seemed to be sitting on the edge of their seats. They looked paranoid, for whatever reason. Occasionally, Rhys would peek at the few anxious workers around the room to see if there was something going terribly wrong. The anxiety that his colleagues were covered in made himself a little nervous, and for what, he didn't know. He tried to enjoy the rest of his day before lunch break, putting the nervous thoughts in the back of his mind. He had no time to wonder why his colleagues were acting that way and honestly, he didn't want to know. The large amount of work he had, thankfully, consumed his time.

Lunch had come and Vaughn was kind enough to grab Rhys another coffee. "It's only the first day, you don't have to be an overachiever yet, dude!" Rhys simply replied with a shrug, taking the coffee and skipping his lunch break to continue on his assigned work. 

Rhys sipped at the hot beverage, letting the bland, bitter taste sit on his mouth for a moment before promptly deciding that he needed some cream. And sugar. A lot of both. He rubbed his eyes before standing up to leave his cubicle, hurrying toward the cafeteria, not wanting to waste his time on not doing work.

And this is where his first fuck-up takes place.

 _Do they even have stuff for coffee?_ he thought to himself (a dumb question, really) as he rubbed at his eyes to ease the dull burn from too little sleep and his lingering headache. Apparently a second was too long, because he ran into someone, spilling scalding coffee over both of them. 

"Ow! Shit! Watch where you're going-" Rhys exclaims, hissing in pain through his teeth as he the coffee seeped into his clothes. His coffee cup was crumpling in his hand and he angrily looked at the stranger, immediately retracting backwards in terror as he was faced with- 

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" His voice was pissed, to say the absolute least. His voice. _Handsome Jack's_ voice. Rhys looked at him, mouth gaping, stunned. His heachache suddenly became a lot worse. "I- o-oh my god, sir, I-I am so sorry, " Rhys began to fumble, panic rising in his voice as he stuttered out various apologies, not entirely sure what to do. Jack looked down at his own ruined clothes-- he seemed to recieve most of the spill--, seething in rage. Rhys couldn't do anything but stare and expect the worse.

 _Welp, this has got to be the dumbest way to die._ Rhys mocked himself in his head. 

Jack's hands gripped at Rhys' shirt, pulling him closer. Too close. Invading his own personal space close. Normally, this sounds like an ideal situation. But sadly and very clearly, he was not dreaming. And was probably about to die. 

Rhys could feel his own heart pounding like a drum, accepting his fate. "You are so, _so_ lucky I have places to be today, _kiddo_." Jack's tone was threatening, his low voice contrasting against the usual cheery voice heard from the overhead speakers. Jack's grip tightened as he emphasised the name. Rhys' eyes met Jack's for a brief moment and as stunning as his vibrant eyes were, the icy look that they gave him made Rhys shudder. Their faces were now just a few inches apart. Rhys could feel the heat from Handsome Jack's breath as he spoke for the final time. "Next time, I won't be so nice." Rhys had to swallow hard in order to fight the whimper rising in his throat. Jack let go of his shirt, shoving him hard onto the floor, straight into the puddle of coffee that didn't manage to hit either of them.

And just like that, he was gone. Rhys remained on the floor, cowering, until he could no longer hear Jack's heavy footsteps echo off the blue walls. People stared at Rhys momentarily before continuing to their duties, as if nothing happened. Rhys stood, his head pounding and ears ringing, his adrenaline rising. He began to go into full panic mode, his breath heaving as he sprinted toward the nearest bathroom to hide in a stall, reevaluating his choices, his life, everything he has ever done, ever. 

He hid in the stall for what seemed like an hour, maybe even longer. Rhys sat there in his coffee soaked clothes, worriedly running his fingers through his hair, trying to get his grip back on reality. He contemplated staying in that bathroom for the rest of his life. _Living in a bathroom isn't so bad, right? It's better than being killed by your boss, right?_ Rhys thought to himself. 

As Rhys replayed the moment obsessively in his head, he couldnt help thinking about how _close_ he was to Handsome Jack. The look on Jack's face struck pure fear into his heart, sure, but the threat of his very own life belonging to someone he's thought about practically every day struck the slightest twinge of arousal to his stomach. _Jesus, that's fucked. This is all so fucked. I'm fucked. I'm so fucked._ Rhys covered his face in his hands, hiding his creeping blush. He wondered how pathetic he looked, letting out the whimper he's held in his throat since the encounter. Rhys vowed in that moment to _stop getting turned on by dying, jesus fucking christ._

 _Next time, I won't be so nice._ were the words that stuck with him. 

Rhys got out of the stall, turned on the sink that seemed too fancy to be in a restroom, and rested his hands beneath the cold flow of the water, letting the temprature ground him back to reality. Cupping his hands to gather water, he splashed it in his face, holding his hands there for just a moment before looking into the mirror. His blush was obvious, but he convinced himself that nobody would notice.

 _Vaughn is not going to believe this._ Rhys thought as he exited the bathroom, making his way back to his desk to grab his things before heading home. The shame of the situation sunk in again, the cold feeling of his newly stained clothes sticking to his chest only reminding him further. He noticed that the coffee scene was cleaned up as he swiftly passed by the hallway where it all happened. _Thank God._ Rhys was quiet the rest of the day, even as he drove back with Vaughn to their apartment. 

That night, Rhys could hear Jack's voice as he attempted to fall asleep. _Next time, I won't be so nice._ The words made him shift uncomfortably in his bed. Rhys _somehow_ had the self restraint to focus on something else, only briefly thinking of the various implications of the threat, thinking of of the look on Jack's face, thinking of the way he spat out the word 'kiddo', thinking of the firm hands that pulled him closer... He let out a shaky sigh before shifting in his bed again, attempting to get comfortable. 

_Next time, I won't be so nice._

\--

Rhys now understood why half the people working at Hyperion were constantly on the edge of their seats. He couldn't say he knew exactly what they were going through, but ever since the incident, Rhys had been practically vibrating with anxiety everywhere he went. Every small sound, every hushed whisper, every loud footstep sent jolts of pure fear into his heart, only ever expecting it to be Jack behind him, with a gun, with a knife, or with whatever Rhys' frantic imagination had to offer. It took three days until Vaughn had to pull him aside at work to try to calm him down. 

"Vaughn, you don't _understand_ , okay? You don't understand how scared I am here. I thought people were joking when they told me not to apply here, but I get it now, dude, Jack is fucking insane, it's driving me insane, I _can't_ be here, Vaughn, I can't-" Rhys' state began to deteriorate as his hands gripped the shorter man's shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin. He looked around him frantically, double, triple checking that they were alone in the hallway. "What happens if I see him again? Is he gonna-- fuckin', I dunno-- scoop out my eyeballs with a spoon? There's nothing I can do against that, dude, I just _can't._

Vaughn stared at him for a moment and Rhys could see the concern in his eyes as he looked up at him. "Rhys-- It's gonna be okay, okay? Well, I mean, I...I can't be entirely sure of that, but, uhm-" Rhys gave him a look. "What I'm trying to say is, that you're gonna be fine. You're just...just..blowing things up..? Out of proportion?" Vaughn was trying to say what he think he wanted Rhys to hear. "I suck at this stuff..." He heard the smaller man mumble under his breath. "What I'm _really_ trying to say is that I care about you, Rhys. And that monster may be able to strangle you to death," Rhys opened his mouth, offended. Vaughn quickly cut him off, "but he can't strangle the power of friendship." He said, incredibly confident. 

For a beat, there was only silence. A smile slowly appeared on Rhys' face. "Was that supposed to make me feel better? The fuck?" Rhys said between a chuckle, and then let out a laugh, a genuine laugh, for the first time since he bumped into Jack. Vaughn joined in on the laughter, the two of them soon becoming a giggling mess, their breathless laughter echoing off the walls. In that moment, all Rhys' worries were gone. 

Vaughn was the first one to speak up again, wiping a tear from his eye. "Ahh...but, like, for real, you should go to therapy." He wrapped his arms around Rhys, embracing him. "I love you, dude. No homo." 

Rhys snorted, hugging Vaughn back, ruffling his hair. "Love you too, dude." He let out a sigh. "We should probably get back to work before people think we've gone full homo." This time, Vaughn snorted back.

"I'll see you later, bro. Also, you're gonna be fine, don't even bother thinking about Handsome Jack. He's the president of one of the biggest companies ever, I doubt he even has the time to even think about you." Vaughn said the first actual encouraging words Rhys had heard all day. Rhys responded with a smile as Vaughn walked the oppisite way, turning around the corner back to his workplace.

Rhys let out a sigh of relief, a smile still lingering on his face as he began to make his way back toward his seperate workplace.

Fuck-up number two. 

As he turned the corner, Rhys froze in fear. Pure fear. The life or death kind of fear. There he was, again. Handsome Jack was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, similarly to the poster he saw at the beginning of his personal week of hell. Except, unlike the poster, he was actually staring at him. With the most terrifying grin Rhys had ever seen. A sickly feeling filled his entire body as his eyes met with Jack's. Everything was happening so quick, but so fast. He needed to run. To get away from Jack, from this, from everything. Rhys could tell that Jack was amused by the way he cocked his head to observe him. 

"Gossip is just the greastest, innit?" Handsome Jack quipped, too much joy in his voice for it to be even slightly genuine. "I'm flattered you think I'm...what did you say, exactly? Care to refresh my memory, pumpkin?" Jack was staring directly at Rhys with the same twisted grin. The grin was practically mocking him, telling him _okay, idiot, you can start begging for mercy now._

Rhys could still only stare at him. He swore he felt every function of his body beginning to shut down. He tried to open his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Rhys began to tremble.

Jack took a step toward Rhys.

Rhys took a step back.

This action must have amused Jack, for he let out a low laugh before his expression changed completely. "I don't like repeating myself, cupcake. And if you don't answer me right friggin' now, I might take up the idea of scooping your eyeballs out with a spoon." The grin faltered from Jack's face, being replaced by a face Rhys could only describe as predatory. 

Rhys opened his mouth to speak. 

_Why does my life suck so fucking bad?_


End file.
